


Mama's Boy

by Dawn_twilight



Series: Summer Writing Project The Sentinel [5]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Episode: s01e05 Cypher, Hurt Blair Sandburg, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scenes, Non-Consensual, Other, Summer Writing Project, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7009036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawn_twilight/pseuds/Dawn_twilight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I could be you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mama's Boy

"I could be you."

I watched as Dr. Anthony Bates sat up in his leather chair, shifting a fraction, the smooth cowhide groaning in protest. The man took off his glasses, rubbing a hand up and over graying blond hair. "David...I had to go to school for a very long time to be a physiologist and I spent years at Quantico training in my field."

He thought he was sooo smart. Always talking about how he trained here and studied for that...but what the hell did he know?

_Nothing, that's what._

Sure had nice wheels though. What a sweet ride and he dressed to the nines. Where did he think he was? Not too many people to impress in this place. Except maybe that pretty brunette that worked the C Block. She's a fine thing, slim body and perfect ass...I could be her too.

"David?"

I waited a few seconds before looking up...make him think I'm thinking about what he said.

"Lets talk some more about your mother. I know you've told your story before, but since you're pretty new here, I want to hear some more about it...see if I can help you work through some of those memories.

_Memories...all alone in the moonlight..._

"David?"

 _I've got some memories all right...good ones._

Every time I close my eyes I can see her face.

See how she looked at me with disgust and then...fear.

I can still hear her garbling as she tried to get her head above water, see her hands scrambling to get some kind of hold, some kind of leverage and I can still see her eyes...filled with fear and bulging as I held her under the water even harder...and then...she was going...the struggle left her, a few last bubbles escaped her parted lips and she stilled. 

_I was the last thing she saw_...my mouth twisted in a smile and I felt sooo....fucking incredible... _top of the world, ma._

I bet she thought she’d never see me again...but I'm a patient man.

Moved to San Francisco but that didn't help her any. Old bat didn't even know I'd been watching.

_Watching and waiting, ever so patient._

She struggled sure, but as she took hold of her arm, she knew.

She knew she’d done me wrong and I was just rectifying her errors.

Fat cow begged, all done up in a fluffy white robe, ready to get in her bath...she likes them hot and that's what she got.

"David. I can’t help you if you won't talk to me."

Hmm...I think I picked the wrong hospital to check into. This guy _never_ shuts up.

It should be safe now anyway. It's been a couple months and the cops haven't come looking.

It was the perfect place to hide really, but I think it's time to check out.

"I think I need to see the nurse...I got a stomach ache."

"Okay, David. Let me call over to C Ward and see if they can fit you in."

The doctor smiled as soon as the pretty brunette answered his call.

It's almost _too_ easy.

"Linda is sending someone to get you. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Yeah...soon."

So...I started out again…easy.

The guy in the wheelchair was surprised when a nurse stopped to buy a penny bag, but even more surprised when I dragged him into my shiny new car.

Oh and Linda's taste in music...questionable at best. 

My wig slipped as I pushed him into the trunk and his eyes went all big, but I could tell he was stoned.

Probably thought I was a really bad trip.

_I could have done better._

But what the hell, I've been a carpenter, a doctor... _that was a hoot_ , a bartender, a waitress, oh yeah...a gardener...umm...a taxi driver, and now a nurse. 

I've lost count, but me and Adam...we're going to be the best of friends.

*`*`*

"So I was thinking...I don't mind the company." Jim sunk into the dinning chair, dishing out a helping of the lasagna Blair had just sat on the table.

They had spent the day finishing up paperwork and Blair managed to get some grading done. The past week had flown by, but he got Jim in to his lab for some testing, which turned out to give his friend a major headache...so dinner was a peace offering of sorts. 

His mother used to make him lasagna whenever he came home to visit her or for special occasions, so it was one of his favorite comfort food. They even had it on Christmas, which was a bit strange since technically they’re Jewish. 

Blair took a quick gulp of white wine, fiddling with his napkin. "Are you saying you don't want me to find my own place?"

Jim passed him the salad, getting up to pick out some dressing from the fridge. "All I'm saying is that I don't mind. I kinda like the company." He came back with a bottle of ranch and a bottle of honey mustard, holding them out.

Blair grabbed the ranch, squirting a glob on his greens. "I don’t know, man. I've been on my own for a long time."

Jim nodded, "it's just a suggestion, Sandburg, not a proposal. If you don't have anything lined up you can stay. The rents cheap and the rules are many." Jim smirked, digging into his pasta, sniffing the cooling sauce and noodles before scooping them into his mouth, closing his eyes.

 _Many rules? Many, many, many rules._

But Blair didn't complain, knowing that Jim was still having a hard time keeping his senses under control and it was his home after all and if Jim didn't want cups on the coffee table or shoes by the door, he would go along with it. 

Blair took a bite of his salad, thinking over Jim's offer. He didn't have anything lined up, true, but he didn't do too well with roommates. He'd been through several back in his dorm days and he liked his privacy...living with a sentinel would mean he probably wouldn't have any.

Of course it was a unique opportunity to study the embodiment of his life work up close and personal.

What if they didn't get along? Sure, the last couple of days have been good, despite the house rules.

"Umm...can I think about it?" 

Jim scooped out another ladle full of pasta and plopped it on his plate, tearing off another piece of bread to sop up the sauce. "Sure...take your time."

They finished dinner and Blair found himself washing instead of just leaving the dishes for when ever. Jim dried and stacked the plates, putting the leftovers in a bowl.

"That was great, Chief. Thanks for taking the time to make it." He dried his hands and tossed the damp towel over the drainer. "I'm going to change and then we can hit the rode. Traffic is going to be a heavy near the arena."

Blair finished the glass salad bowl, carefully placing it back in the cabinet above the sink. "Cool, man. I'm ready when you are." 

He wandered to the living room and looked around. The apartment was nice, a little plain, but nice. It was close to the U and the neighborhood was really cool...near the harbor and lots of little shops and markets and eateries near by.

Maybe he could give it a go...talk Jim into painting the walls or something.

_It might just work out._

"Ready." Jim stood in the doorway, Blair jacket in his hand and he smiled. "I want to get a good spot in the lot...something near the exit."

_Yup...it might just work._

*`*`*

"What do you think of this one?" I spun around, admiring myself in the full-length mirror. "No, no you're right...makes my hips look huge."

I flung the soft wool skirt onto the bed and pulled out a beaded evening gown. "Hmm...I don't know. I little frumpy, I think." The garment landed in the heap of clothes spread out over the floor of the bedroom.

"What do we have here?" The clothes hangers squeaked across the rod as I pulled a black dress from the back of the closet and held it up against me. "Hmm..." I tossed the dress and shifted some boxes, finding some black pumps and matching purse. "This is perfect, don't you think?"

I turned to her, taking in the huge brown eyes, tears streaming down and around the yellow scarf, her mouth moved behind the binding, but I didn't want to hear her voice...not yet, anyway.

She struggled on the bed, twisting from side to side, and kicking out her bound legs as I moved closer; dropping down to sit on the edge, tucking a few strands of red hair behind my ear. My fingers reached forward to caress the thick black mane of the frightened woman. She turned her face from me as I ran my hand through the silky soft hair. "I don't think I can do with a dye job this time." 

She sobbed around the obstruction in her mouth as I gently turned her head and kissed her cheek. "Shhh...don't be sad baby...I'm just gonna clean you up. Mama will take care of you. Shhh."

I moved the gag and she screamed, but no one would hear her. Her house was at the end of the block and the Kimmers, her nearest neighbors, went to bingo on Saturday nights. "I'm just going to clean you up and then we can go see the ducks. I used to have a baby duck...he was so soft and tiny. I could wrap my finger around his little neck...it was so fragile." 

I grabbed hold of her arm, dragging her screaming down the hall to her bathroom. "I would still have him too, if mama hadn't found him." Once I was through the door I dropped her to the floor, reaching forward to turn on the tap. 

The sounds of running water filled the room, steam rose and curled away through the vent in the ceiling. I took my time unbuttoning her cream colored blouse, my excitement building as she tried to move away from my roaming hands. I slowly unzipped her skirt; pulling the slip away with it before picking her up and putting her in the filling tub.

"Shh...It'll be okay soon, baby. I just want to help you get clean."

Reaching into my pocket, I used the first of my vials, forcing the liquid drug between clenched teeth, rubbing her throat to help her shallow. She continued to splash and scream, but I waited, taking up the bath sponge and her lilac body wash, running the soapy sponge up and over her belly, gently washing under her breasts and arms. She froze as my hand moved lower, washing between her legs and that's when it happened. 

She stopped moving and pulling away, her eyes clouded with tears and fear but full of resignation. 

_Beautiful._

She knew...

I grabbed a towel and lifted her lax body from the water, pulling the plug. It only took a few minutes to dry her off, tie her up and make my way carefully down the steps, looking both ways before sprinting to her car, dropping her body into the trunk with a thud.

The early morning traffic was light, and as I drove I made a mental list. I knew that once I got her to my house, I had the whole afternoon to play. We could visit the duck pond then and still get back to her place by the early evening, clean up a bit and pack.

The specialty store in Chelsea came into view and I pulled over, waiting as a truck backed from a parking spot right up front.

The shopkeeper greeted me and thoughts of owning my own shop flittered through my mind. "Can I help you sir?" 

"Umm...yes. I need a wig for a very special occasion. I'm looking for dark black, cut into a bob."

"Oh, yes sir. I have a few. Is it for your wife?" The elderly man moved among the shelves, pulling out lined drawers. "I have some lovely human hair wigs." 

"Yes. That would be good."

"How about this one?" 

I reached forward, fingering the soft strands. "It's perfect."

"Good...good. Let me wrap it for you." The shopkeeper went back to the front, ringing up my purchase and carefully wrapping the wig and placing it in a box. "May I have your name for our registry?"

"Sure." I pulled out my wallet and laid the money on the counter, reaching for the box. "Billy...Billy Bright."

*`*`*

Blair held the elevator door with his foot, resting the box he was carrying on the floor, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand.

"Thanks, Chief." Jim hefted the small desk through the opening, sitting it near the back with the other boxes piled along the elevator wall. "I think we can get the rest in one more trip."

Blair nodded, pressing the button for the third floor. He was totally and utterly exhausted, having not slept very well since seeing his first dead body, tossing and turning on the sofa for the past few nights and then there was the funeral coming up and Blair couldn't help but wonder how long she would have been decomposing in her tub had not the call come in about a prowler.

As the car ascended he tried to get the image of Susan Fraiser from his brief glimpse out of his head. For as long as he lived, he would never forget the look on her pale lifeless face, the sightless staring eyes and opened mouth... A shiver shot up his spine and Jim shot him a look.

"You okay, Blair?"

"Yeah." The doors parted and Blair stuck a box against one, stopping them from closing. "Just tired I guess. We've been running the whole day." 

They worked in silence, putting his desk and chair in the hallway, talking turns picking up boxes and putting them in the apartment living room. Once all the boxes were taken care of, they moved the desk to his new room and Blair looked around at his new home. He managed to get a futon bed from a friend and his chest of drawers made it through the fire. The desk was a gift from his mom when he started at Rainier and he was glad that it made it too.

"How about I make some lunch?" Jim backed out of the room, lifting the newly installed curtains to give Blair an illusion of privacy.

"Sounds good, man. I'll just see what I can finish in here." He sank to his bed, eyeing the boxes lining the walls. When he told Jim that he would like to take him up on the offer to rent the room, he still had mixed feelings.

The past couple weeks had been great and what little reservations he had dissipated when he got back to the loft the other night after the jags game. Jim was getting ready for bed, checking the doors and windows and before he climbed the steps, he turned and told Blair good night. 

And he couldn't get that out of his head. 

He hadn't had a single soul to say good night to since Lisa and Jim was a great guy, most times and he wanted Blair to stay. 

Really wanted him to stay.

"Lunch is in ten." Jim called from the kitchen and Blair stood, opening a random box, deciding what to take out and what to pack back up and store.

He found a few pictures in frames and put them on the end table near the lamp, angling the one with his mentor and a Peruvian tribe from an exposition he took in his senior year. 

"You coming?"

"Yeah..." He stepped out of the room. "Hey man, you're working late tomorrow, right?"

Jim carried two plates, the savory smell of steak, peppers and onions made Blair's stomach rumble. 

"Yeah. Why, you got a hot date?" Jim smiled and then sobered. "Just remember house rule number eleven, Chief."

Blair smirked, taking a huge bite of his sandwich, drippings ran down his hand and he grabbed up a napkin, wiping his mouth as he chewed. "Mmhmm."

"I mean it, junior. No nooky in the apartment."

*`*`*

I watched them from across the crowded dance floor, their bodies swaying only inches apart. She would reach forward now and again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a different kind of dance involving lips and tongue.

Never taking my eyes from the couple, I looming closer with each beat of the drum, inching forward, dancing with a few other single women in the middle of the floor. The lights were dim and the bar was noisy, body's pressed against my back and chest, but I went with the flow, reaching up to adjust the jet black wig.

My skirt was longer than I would have liked, hiding my bigger knees, the silky material slid easily over freshly shaved legs, and the top was tight, showing off my new curves.

The song ended and the couple next to me moved apart before the next one began. She looked right at me, smiling a little as she pushed through the crowd heading for the line to the bathroom. I watched as the younger man sidled up to the bar, ordering a few more drinks, joking with the bartender, tucking a few strands of wavy hair behind his ear. 

I thought about joining my newest friend for a drink, the stool next to him was empty, but instead turned toward the restroom, getting in line right behind her. She was pretty and slim, her wavy dark hair and olive skin enhanced by the subdued lighting. She reminded me of a doll his grandmother used to have. Used to display it over the fireplace when I was a kid, a China doll.

The line moved up and we made it through the door together. I waited near the sink as she went into the restroom, checking my makeup, studying her in the mirror as she washed her hands and applied another layer of pale shimmer lipstick.

Waiting a beat before leaving, I found them at the bar, talking and kissing, drinking something with little umbrellas. Before long they headed for the exit, but I wasn't in a hurry. I knew where they were going and I already had the place scouted out...knew how to get in undetected. 

I stepped out onto the sidewalk, walking briskly to the parking lot across the street. Her jeep was only parked a few down from my car and I smiled as Blair opened the door for her, dotting a kiss on her forehead.

She was interesting. 

Worked in a lab at Rainier, spent her days playing with the primates, but I really took a liking to Blair. I had spotted the kid the night I made the 911 call for my dear friend Susan. The younger man showed up with a brut of a cop, looking a little scared and certainly a bit squeamish. Poor kid made a beeline to the porch once he got a look at my handy work.

I followed them back to the station, a risk, sure but so worth it, and had a nice talk with the officer out front in the lobby. It's amazing the kind of information you could get just by asking.

The kid was cute, charming, funny and apparently very smart. Gave one heck of a lecture on some tribe. I wasn't really paying attention to what was said, instead listening to the cadence of his voice and taking in his body movements.

It was intriguing to learn that Blair was working with the police for his doctorate and that his partner, Ellison ended up lead on the Frasier case. I planned my next move the second I found out, calling a reporter to leak some information, hoping to shake some things up, putting a bug in the ear of the department head, offering my expert help if needed, making a call to my previous doctor, letting him know that Cascade's finest were interested in his skills.

It was almost too easy...

I slowed my car, pulling in a few seconds behind them, waiting until they where in the building before going around to the bakery's side entrance and climbing up the fire escape to the roof. I could climb down onto the ledge outside the loft window or swing down to the terrace and stand along the wall with the plants, hiding in the shadows, but the blinds on the bay doors were pulled, so I quickly opened the window of the loft bedroom and slid in, sitting on the floor between the bed and desk, easing forward to see into the living room just as keys jingled in the lock and the front door opened. 

I had spent the last few days watching, followed the kid home last night. The cop wasn't there, working late, but Blair was there and he spent most of his evening in the living room, working on his laptop, writing in a journal, beating off in the shower.

I stayed in the shadows of the terrace until he went to bed and when I was sure that Blair was asleep, I quietly slid through the opened balcony door and moved around the apartment, checking all the windows and doors, climbing the steps to the loft. I only looked at the cop's things, really only interested in unlocking the window along the large bed. 

I walked softly over the hardwood floor, scanning the bookshelf and music selection by the stereo, pocketing a few tracks before going into the kitchen and opening the fridge and a few drawers. I made a trip to the bathroom, finding a pic with a few long strands of curly hair and shoved it in my coat before moving to the partly open curtain that led to the small room under the loft.

Blair slept curled in a ball under a heap of blankets, hair fanned out over the pillow and hand resting near his face. 

And that's when I decided.

_I could be Blair._

Talking from below brought me back to the here and now and I slid a little closer to the edge of the loft, my view clear of the couple kissing and cuddling on the couch.

She whispered something in his ear and then straddled his lap, unbuttoning his shirt and pressing the fabric back before lifting her own dress up and over her head. From my angle, I couldn't see much of Blair, but from the sounds he was making I knew he was becoming aroused.

I resisted the urge to unzip my pants...I wanted this feeling to last and last.

Blair kissed and fondled her bare breasts and I could tell she was shoving her hand down the front of his pants. He hissed in a shallow breath, bucked his hips. At the same point the pants were tossed away I eased down my zipper. As they both laid down, I began to stroke myself, unafraid to be heard over the deep breaths and heavy sighs coming from the sofa below. Blair pulled the blanket draped over the back of the couch over them, which was interesting...was he trying to hide himself? Was he worried someone could be peeping at them from some window or did he know...did he somehow know I was watching him? A shiver of excitement zipped through me...did Blair some how sense he was being watched and if so...why hadn't he stopped? 

Before I could finish my next thought...finish thinking about all the fun I would be having with him, something metal caught my attention and I leaned closer to the railing overlooking the couch, trying to make out what it was.

A nipple ring?

_Is my Blair a little kinky between the sheets?_

My free hand drifted to my own chest and I wondered if I could do something like that to myself. I pinched the pebbling nub through my lacy shirt and decided that I could…already thinking about were I could go to get the piercing.

Moans continually drifted to my ears and I looked down to see Blair's face, see his eyes close as the china doll moved down his body, head disappearing under the blankets and Blair's mouth dropping open in a silent exclamation.

She was making him dirty, but that was okay...

I was going to help Blair get clean soon enough.

After a while, Blair pulled her up, man handled her until she was under him and he was fumbling with something, a small package he brought to his mouth and ripped open. A condom...at least he had enough sense to use one. I stroked up my sex just as he lined up his body and plunged into her. I held my tip tightly, thinking about how I could do the same to him...or better yet, he to me.

I tried my best to match the pumping of my hand to his thrusts, rocking my hips to his steady rhythm, trying my best to ignore the bitches moans and aborted squeaks as Blair nailed her to the couch, the whole damn thing jumped and moved each time he drove himself into her and that, of all things, was my undoing...it seemed that Blair had more stamina then me.

Good...he's gonna need it. 

I shimmed onto my belly, trapping my throbbing cock between my stomach and the hard wood floor, pressing my fingers into my mouth as I watched the rest of the show happening below me. The blanket had long ago sagged down and hit the floor. I had a wonderful unobstructed view of Blair's strong back, his straining thighs and his perfectly pert ass...I could feel myself hardening again just thinking about all the things I wanted to do to him.

His hips still thrust forward, but his rhythm was faltering and I knew he was close. I dared to inch even closer for a better look. My eyes took in the clinching ass cheeks and the soft furry sac that swayed below. He pumped in maybe a time or two more and then he went completely still, his head thrown back and his face...he face was lax, his eyes shut and god, that mouth...those lips...parted and then rounding into a perfect O.

The only thing that ruined the moment was the high pitch squeals the China doll was making.

She had to go.

My hand crept downward again and I tugged on my cock, just a few quick jerks as she moved back up Blair's body and rested on her head on his sweaty his chest. 

I couldn't hear everything that was said, but she stood up quickly, giving him a quick kiss on that glorious mouth before standing and pulling on her dress.

Blair lay content, drawing up a knee, but still leaving me with a view of his naked flesh. I jerked myself a few more times, feeling oh so close, but when the door caught on the chain, I got up and quietly stood by the window. She called something back to him as she closed the door to undo the chain and I scrambled out the window and started down the fire escape, miffed that I wouldn't know what was going to happen next, but not wanting to get caught...at least not yet.

I wondered how long he would lay there like that...how long did he have before his roommate? Well, whatever he was to Blair, would get home.

I got into my car, checked the side street for any foot traffic and seeing none, took care of myself...only a few more swift tugs did the trick, I shivered with the release, not worried about the mess I made all over my skirt...I was done with these clothes now...

...China doll just got a reprieve...time to visit my dear friend Dr. Bates.

*~*~*

He shifted in the wooden desk chair, searching through the piles of papers and books on his desk. 

Afternoon sun poured in his window, dust particles floating in the streams of light, making the room with its rows of shelving holding varies artifacts look more like a somber museum instead of an office.

Finding the article he was looking for, Blair booted up his laptop, mind still running in circles over the case he was helping Jim with.

He had screwed up big time at the victim’s funeral, giving always the surveillance efforts to the suspect and even days later he felt Jim was still pissed. They had watched the tape from the reporter Hass last night and Jim figured out the suspect was really a man, which totally blew Blair away.

_How many transsexual serial killers have you heard about?_

Something still seemed off and Blair was determined that he was going to figure it out…make up for his mistake.

The old desktop phone rang and he pushed his computer back to answer. “Hello? Hey Chris. Tonight would be great. Yeah…I’ll pick you up at seven. Bye.”

“Chris?”

His head shot up and then he was standing, moving rapidly across the room, surprised but pleased. “Lisa.”

He grabbed her up in a huge hug, swinging her smaller frame around before putting her back on her feet. 

“Whoa.” She smiled, pushing her wire rimmed glasses up, brown eyes sparking and black hair falling forward over her petite shoulders. “I’m happy to see you too, but I like to keep my feet on the ground, if you know what I mean.”

“What are you doing back? Sit.” He led her across the floor to the chair beside his desk, pushing some papers over to lean against the edge, holding her slim hand tightly in his. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I’m just stopping by on my way to a symposium at UCLA, but I needed to tie up some things here and I wanted to see how you were doing. What happened to your apartment?” Her hands moved as she spoke and Blair smiled, thinking that was the one thing they had in common.

“Long story, Lee. I’m at a new place now, working with a detective for my doctorate.”

She jumped up and pulled him into a hug. “You really found one?”

“Well…” he held her in is arms, suddenly feeling a bit sad, sorry that they hadn’t worked out. “Let’s just say it looks promising.”

“Wanta take a walk?” she asked, taking his arm and leading him toward the door.

They walked slowly through the halls of Hargrove, stopping from time to time to chat, giving Lisa a chance to catch up with people she hadn’t seen in almost a year. The sun was bright as they descended the steps to the courtyard, stopping to sit under an old maple tree across from the fountain.

This was one of their favorite places to meet on campus. The fountain was nice to look at and the bubbling sounds of water always seemed to relax them after a hard day of classes, teaching and being taught. 

People milled about talking and laughing. Some sat on the concrete walls of the fountain, some at the benches or along the lush green lawn of the court yard. “So how are you really, babe. You’re looking really great…and who is Chris? What happened to Melanie?”

“I’m good, Lee.” He shifted back, resting against the trunk of the tree, eyes scanning the crowd talking and laughing near the fountain. Casually he asked, “You been seeing anyone new?”

“I’ve dated a few people, but no one special. Hey, you want to go to dinner? My flight is at seven, we can maybe grab something near the airport.” 

A ball rolled across the grass and a man hurried over to pick it up, his blond hair pulled back at the base of his neck. “Sorry.” He scooped up the ball and turned away quickly to rejoin a group of people waiting on the other side of the walkway.

“No problem, man.” Blair watched the retreating figure before tuning back to Lisa. “I would love too, but I need to be back by six.”

*~*~*

_In the latest twist in Cascade's brutal and mystifying female serial killer case, confidential sources report that the police are no longer looking for a woman, but a transvestite._

“Can you believe that?” I watched the captain shake his head, eyeing the detective sitting across from him.

They both seem so mystified as to how Hass could know this information. 

_It’s like taking candy from a baby._

The door suddenly opened and my newest friend hurried in. I’m so focused on him that it’s a bit of a surprise when he reached behind him to wrap on the door. 

“Um, you see, the killer's deal is that he trades identities with his victims. I just had a talk with Billy Bright's band over at Club Doom. And it turns out that the night Billy was killed he bought some dope from a guy in a wheelchair…that guy.”

We all followed his pointing finger to the photo of dear sweet Adam. He was one of my first new friends. It was so much more fun than to just drown them and dump them in my secret place.  
Making friends was always so hard for me…but that night at my mothers…she did one thing right by me. When I was dragging her to my car, I spotted her scarf hanging on the coat rack near the door and I knew. 

_From now on I would use a yellow scarf…yellow meant friendship right and I sure as hell needed a few good ones._

Blair’s usual steady voice rose in excitement as he theorized about Walker and he was so close, only Walker wasn’t my first. My new friend is a smartie and it makes me so proud to have him join my select group.  
I decided to introduce myself, see if he recognized me. “Remarkable. I'm Tony Bates.” 

He looked at me, eyes scanning my face but then he’s off again, talking about what he thinks the killer’s motives are and so I threw him a bone and the look of pleasure that crossed his face is priceless.

When the phone rang I had a pretty good idea what the call might be about and as Ellison raced out, I was hoping my friend would stay and chat a bit, but as I called his name, I could tell he was anxious to follow his former partner.

I wonder what it would be like to work with the police…

And wouldn’t that be the ultimate irony?

He thanked me and hurried off, but no matter. I’ve got a phone call to make. A certain reporter is going to love this newest tidbit of information.

The next day was almost too much, but than my friend pulled a whammy. 

“Yeah, severe head case. Escaped a California mental institution three months ago. His name's David Lash.”

“Three months?” Wow…doesn’t seem that long. I need to get to my place and check on some things. Shouldn’t smell too bad now.

“I've subpoenaed the patient's file form Watsonville.”

Now, that should be an interesting revelation…

I really should be going, but I want to see their faces when they figure out my little secret.

“Nice work, Detective. You too, Blair. Very impressive fieldwork.”

He smiled and thanked me and I wondered if he had any idea how much fun we are going to be having so very soon.

*`*`*  
“Okay, just relax.” Blair repeated the words over and over, hurrying to his car and slamming the door shut, locking it with his elbow.

_Think, think, think._

Gunning the engine, he pulled out into traffic and tried to settle down. “It was just my imagination…yeah, that’s it.”

The rush hour roads were heavily congested, but he managed to dart in and out of traffic, heading south toward the precinct. Half way there he slammed on the brakes and made a quick u turn, horns blared, one passing motorist giving him the finger.

Jim had called him at his office earlier to tell him Simon had given Jim some down time. Hopefully his roommate would be home.

He threw the car into park, running into the lobby and up the steps. Once safe behind the dead bolted door, he rested against the hardwood, breathing deep to get himself under control

The bay doors to the terrace were open and the evening breeze coming off the bay blow the blinds.

_I really need to make sure I lock those before I leave._

Securing the door and pulling the blinds he made a beeline to the phone, swearing when Jim’s voice mail picked up. Trying again, he paged his friend, remembering to put a 911 on the end of their home number, just like Jim had told him if he ever needed to get a hold of him in a hurry.

“Ring…come on, ring.”

Resting along the kitchen island, he caught sight of shadows on the roof, dancing in front of the skylight and as he prepared to head for the fire escape exit, the front door blew off its hinges and a crazy David Lash in a dark curly wig advanced on him.

“Hey there, dude.”

It was all he could do to run toward the back of the loft, hoping to make the rear exit, but a strong hand grabbed at his shirt and Blair turned, fist flying and landing squarely on the jaw of his attacker.

The move enraged the crazy man, who wiped a trickle of blood on his sleeve. “That was like, so not cool, man.” and with extraordinary speed he barreled into Blair, knocking them both to the ground.

They both grappled, Blair tried to buck him off, finally managing to scoot out from under Lash and got his footing, just clearing the end table as the lunatic grabbed his ankle. He got the lamp and threw it, missing as Lash twisted away and incredibly he was on him again, pinning him on the sofa, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of Blair’s belly and ribs. “Stop playing, man. Just relax. A nice hot bath will take care of all your problems, dude.”

Blair shook his head, pushing against the man’s chest, trying to bring his legs up. 

“Don’t be scared…I’m just going to help you.”

He twisted again, sending Lash off balance, rolling to the floor and crawling as far away as he could, sending the TV crashing to the floor as he tried to stand and then something soft pressed over his mouth and nose. 

“S’kay, s’kay…you’ll see.”

His head spun and bile rose to the back of his throat as something yellow flashed before his eyes and then he was hanging upside down over a bony shoulder. “I can’t give you a bath yet…first a little fun, plus I can’t take the chance of my new partner barging in, but when I get you back to my place…”

Blair’s vision grayed but he fought to stay alert. No one would be able to help him if he let Lash take him, but the next time he opened his eyes he was bouncing around in a dark cramp place. He could only hear his own labored breathing, squeaky brakes and the smooth tires sliding over asphalt.

*`*`*

“Hush little baby, don’t say a word…”

I ran my hand through his wavy hair and along his pale cheek. His pulse was slow and I worried that I might have overdosed him. I never used the cloth before.

 _This is sooo boring._ I wanted him to wake up so we can play.

“Mama’s gonna buy you a duckling bird…” He looked so much younger, mouth pressed into a thin line and eyes fluttering under lightly closed lashes. 

The skin of his throat is smooth, little hairs are growing back in around his jaw line and I ran my thumb up and over, outlining the ridge of his lower lip and fingering a little pock mark near his mouth.

He shifts away from me moaning, but I hush him, taking my time to unbutton his shirt, scraping my finger over the tiny metal hoop, still feeling the little ache in my own nipple...nipple piercings are not for the faint at heart...another thing to admire about my Blair.

He frowned as I touch his skin, pinched his nipples to tiny peeks, tugging gently on the tiny ring through one rosy bud, breathing deep like he might wake up.

“Shhh…And if the ducky bird won’t quack just yet…Mama said Davey can ring its neck.” My hand drifts down to his jeans and I unzip them, feeling him through his boxers, pressing down with the heel of hand, watching his face and the bobbing Adam’s apple.

_It would be so easy._

“No, no…not yet. Be patient Davey, be patient.”

His eyes fluttered as my fingers skirt around his warm hip to squeeze an ass cheek, finding the little puckered muscle, I use my thumb to press in and watch as he squirms. as he fights to get his eyes open and his body away from me. I let him go with a parting kiss to his soft lips and step back into the shadows of my hiding place. I could hardly see him, but the chains rattled and I could hear his panicked breathing from across the room.

_This is going to be so much fun._

He suddenly goes still again and I worry once more that I gave him too much of the drug, but either way...my plans remain the same so I moved forward to pick him up.

“Man, you are no lightweight, dude.” He didn’t move as I carried him across the floor and into the freight elevator. My room was awash with candles, cause I know my new friend digs them. “Careful of the step, man. That's for party crashers.”

I dump him in the chair and tap his face. “Time to wakey, wakey.”

He peeled his eyes opened and then they went all wide and wild and I can feel the excitement building up in me. He was breathing so fast I thought he might levitate out of my play chair. “It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. I'd like you to meet my friends.”

I took my time showing him around my home, but I don’t think he was paying attention.

Rude, really, but he started to scream into the gag when I showed him my tribute to all things Blair. I had his jungle music playing softly in the back ground and a few of his photo’s taped to an Indian woven throw rug I nabbed from his room. I was wearing his coat with a piece of tape over the sleeve and I wondered about the story behind what was clearly a bullet hole.

“So who is your new friend, pretty little thing with long black hair, nerdy glasses? And what’s with taking her to Jad’s at the airport?” 

He was shaking his head frantically from side to side and I wondered if he was trying to clear it or if he was denying what I was saying. 

This is my favorite part…I had poor Susan believing that her mother was slit from throat to cunt. _What a hoot._

“Too bad she missed her flight…but we had a great time, man.”

He’s screaming so much now that I can’t make out his mumbles, but that’s okay, I need to hear him some more anyway. He closed his eyes again and I guess the drugs still have a good hold on him.

“Come on, Hairy Blairy…wake up.” I slap his face a few more times and his eyes open all wide again and he screams some more. I ran my buddy Billy’s drumsticks over his face and arms and watch him squirm and yell through his gag again.

As soon as I pull it from his mouth he yells as loud as he could, but he was wasting his breath. “Screw you," he screams, "you head case! Help! Help me!”

_Screw me...well screwing you certainly is part of the plan._

“You just relax. We're going to see the ducks and then you're going to have a nice… you're going to have...have a nice bath.” His head is rocking back and forth on the rest again and suddenly I’m getting tired of this game. “Are you ready to die? Cause...I'm ready. But first...”

My hand goes to his open fly and the look in his eyes tells me he hadn't realized his state of undress. A swirling mass of excitement starts in my belly and spreads to my chest, shooting little jolts of pleasure down my legs and settling in my balls. This is the fun part. 

He’s screaming now for a different reason, but I am not being rough...my fondle is gentle. 

He's rocking back and forth now, moving his hips, trying to get away from my touch but his method isn't actually working in his favor. I smirk as I feel him press against my cupped hand and then pull back in horror...and then he goes completely still, letting me pull his cock from his boxers, letting me stroke and squeeze him...I didn't peg Blair for a quitter. Maybe he thinks if he lets me have my way I won't kill him...I won't become him.

He's not as smart as I thought he was.

I'm so fascinated with his surrendering body, with watching my hand work him root to tip, I almost forget to look at his face. I want to know what his eyes look like, but when I pull my eyes away from his rosy flesh, his eyes are closed, a few tears are leaking from the corners and its almost too much for me...his pain is so delicious and I can't pull my eyes away, even as I feel him hardening under my pumping hand. I have him and I think he knows it.

I lean closer, hoping to get a taste of his mouth before I get a taste of his cock, before I pull him from this chair and bend him over it so I can get to the afore mentioned screwing. My lips are so close and I dart out my tongue, to run over his bottom lip, but I see my mistake, even as he rears his head back and slams it into mine. I can feel myself falling, can feel my hand loss its grip on his cock. He's screaming again, about how I can't know him, but I do…I know all about him…

I land hard on my ass, but I get out , "Fuck Mrs. Danbush and her tree." He stills again but his mouth opens to deny that memory. 

And he thinks I’m the freak?

Well screw you, man…cause I’m not the one strapped to chair getting ready to take a permanent swim.

“You can't be me." He bucked against his binding, "Only I think what I think, feel what I feel.”

_Feeling, oh, oh, oh feelings…_

“I can be you!" I scream, "I can be…” It’s all messed up…he’s messing it up. “Shut up, man.”

“You think you know who I am? I know more about you. Poor little Homer.”

_Homer…so tiny and soft._

“Why did you make mommy punish you? You know, if you had just been a good little boy…a good little Davey…mama wouldn't have had to scrub you in all those hot baths.”

_Shut up, shut up, shut up! You’re ruining it._

It took some doing, I was practically in his lap, but I manage to get him to swallow his next dose of my feel good juice. It won’t do a thing for him, but it sure does make me feel fantastic.

“Police. Freeze.”

_Well, fuck…lets make it a party._

*`*`*

Blair bolted up as soon as he’s eyes popped opened and yelled. "NO," into whatever was covering his face.

“Easy, Chief. You’re okay.” Strong hands gripped his shuddering shoulders, but didn’t try to ease him back down onto the bed. “You’re at Mercy, but you’re okay.”

His eyes darted around the small room, taking in some machines and a curtain pulled across the opening. “He’s…he’s gone?” 

Jim’s hand moved around to his back, rubbing in soothing circles and Blair tried to calm his breathing, realizing he had an oxygen mask over his face. “He can’t hurt anyone ever again, buddy."

An older woman stuck her head in, “Everything okay in here?”

“He was just a little disoriented this time," Jim assured her, "but he’s calming down now.” She nodded at Jim and slipped back out. “You want to lay down, Chief?”

He quickly shook his head, feeling dizzy until the top of the bed came up to meet his back.

“I didn’t think so.” Jim quipped, hooking a chair with his foot and pulling it closer. 

Blair scanned the windowless room again, body still shaking, but calming. 

“If you can stay awake for a bit, the doctor will shake you loss.”

“Huh?” He couldn’t seem to focus, his mind bouncing from one thought to the next and he knew he was forgetting something.

Jim scooted closer, resting a hand on Blair’s knee through the thin white sheet, watching Blair's face for something, but when he didn't see what he was looking for he continued, "you’ve been here for a while, Blair. But you haven’t been too lucid. The doctor said it’s just the drug. You got a little too much, but it’s wearing off.” Jim nodded to Blair's hand and he noticed the tube taped to his arm, following the line up to a mostly collapsed bag hanging on a pole.

“You kill...you killed him?”

Jim nodded, “I got him, so don’t worry.”

“I thought I was a goner, man.” A little hysterical chuckle slipped out. “How did you find me?”

“It was a joint effort, but you did a good job of staying alive until I got there.”

He dropped his head forward, not really sure how he managed to stay alive when others weren’t as lucky. He had a vague recollection of being really scared and then mouthing off, not sure where that would get him.  
“I don’t know…”

“I do. You did everything right.”

“Oh god.” He leaned forward, suddenly remembering, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, tangling his feet in the sheets, almost falling in his hurry to get up. Jim grabbed his arm, supporting him as he sank toward the floor. 

“Lisa…Jim, he said he killed Lisa. And he...he...” Blair couldn't even bring himself to say the next words, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to block out the images and the phantom hand touching him in places he didn't want to be touched.

“Easy, easy.” Jim guided him to sit on the bed and pushed his head down between his knees. “Who’s Lisa?”

“She’s, she’s a friend. He was watching me, I guess. Knew I took her to the airport.”

“Give me her full name and I’ll make some calls.”

“Langley. Lisa Langley.” He sat up slowly and leaned against the pillow. “She was on her way to LAX, but he said he got her before she boarded.”

“Let me check it out. I'll be right back.” Jim scooted out as a man dressed in scrubs came in.

The E.R. doctor checked him over, listened to his heart, and then righted his gown. "Mr. Sandburg, your partner has some concerns..."

_oh, god...Jim knows...of course he knows, he probably smelled..._

..."but we did a complete exam when the ambulance brought you in and aside from some bruising to your wrist and ankles we could find no other injuries."

_Complete exam...what the hell did that mean...did they think he had been...wait, had he been..._

The heart monitor attached to him picked up his quickening heart rate, but the doctor stood patiently and waited for him to work out whatever he needed to work out. "no," he finally said. "No, I was drugged and restrained, but that's it. I have to other injuries."

"Ok," the man said, writing something on his chart. "But if you find...that maybe you where hurt in some other way, come back or go see you doctor for a look and some blood work."

Blair understood the meaning behind his words, but he was sure, mostly sure, that Lash only fondled him and that wasn't rape...was it?

"I am having your discharge papers printed so when you think you can, go ahead and get dressed. The nurse shouldn't be long.

he nodded, seeing the outline of Jim on the other side of the curtain and he wondered how long his friend had been standing there, how much he had overheard...not that it mattered, Jim could be in the next building and still could have overheard if he had wanted to.

Jim slipped back in as the doctor left, cell phone still pressed to his ear, but he ended his call and told Blair, “I talked to the airport and they confirmed a passenger by that name boarded and exited at LAX. He was probably playing mind games with you, Chief.”

“I want to call her.” He slipped from the bed and stood on shaky legs, still feeling a little dizzy, but the cobwebs were dissipating and he could think a little better.

“Blair, it’s three in the morning.” Jim moved in step with him as he grabbed the bag with his clothes, hovered as Blair took off the gown, glad to see he was still wearing his boxers. He stepped into his jeans and pulled on his t shirt, not bothering with the over shirt, but wondering where his coat was and then he remembered, doubling over, trying not to retch. 

"Easy," Jim gentled, being careful, Blair realized, not to touch him now. "Come on, sit...I'll help you with your shoes." So Blair sank into the visitor chair and Jim pulled out Blair's socks, pulling them on his feet and then fitting on each tennis shoe, tying them into double knots before patting Blair's knee, standing up straight to help Blair up.

Jim pushed the curtain back, squinting at the bright lights of the hallway. “How about you get some rest first and then you can call her?”

“No, man…now.” He knew he was being irrational, but he needed to know for sure Lisa was safe. They followed the hall to the exit, stepping through the parting doors into the cool of the morning. “I’ve got her number at home in my address book.” 

“Ok, come on, Chief.” Jim led the way to the truck, opening the door for him and waiting until he was buckled in before moving around to his own side.

Blair drummed his fingers on his thighs, wishing Jim would go a little faster, wondering if he could convince him to use his lights and sirens.

As they pulled up to the parking lot, Jim turned to him. “I’ve got to warn you…” But Blair wasn’t listening; throwing opened the door, he hurried into the building with Jim on his heels.

“Let’s take the elevator, huh.” 

Sighing, he turned from the steps, grateful the doors parted as soon as Jim pressed the button. “The apartments a little rough looking.”

He nodded, but slowed as he spotted the police tape across the broken front door. Jim had to move the door away and they ducked under the tape. 

The living room looked worse than Larry’s last visit, but he only gave a cursory glance, wanting to get to his desk and address book. Jim left him alone as he searched, finding the little book buried under a few folders and papers. 

Dialing he listened to ring after ring. “Come on, Lee. Pick up.” When the ring reached eleven, he began to move the receiver away from his ear, ready to hang up when a small sleepy voice said, "hello."

“Lee?” Relief washed through him and he dropped down to his unmade bed.

“Blair? What’s wrong?”

“I ah…I know it late, I just needed…I needed…”

“Hey, are you all right?”

“Yeah. I’m good. I’m sorry it’s so late, but I just needed to make sure you’re okay. I thought maybe…something might have happened…” He shifted the phone to the other ear, cradling it between his cheek and shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You can call me whenever for whatever, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, thanks Lee. I’ll call you back at a more decent hour to explain. Night.”

“Good night, Blair.”

He hung up, looking around his trashed room for the first time, noting a few empty picture frames and things pulled from his closet, his cloths and book tossed all over the floor.

“Hey, Chief? How about we check into a motel and get some rest. We can clean up later.” Jim stood in the doorway to his room, holding an overnight bag.

“Yeah, okay.” He looked around, trying to figure out what to take...what was missing. Whatever was would be evidence now and that thought made his stomach roil again.

“I got some clean clothes for you already packed.” 

Blair followed his roommate to the door, looking around one more time. Maybe this was a huge mistake after all. Maybe he didn’t belong in Jim’s world.

“You ready?” Jim held out his leather jacket, helping him to slip it on.

And maybe he just needed a good nights sleep and time to process.

“Thanks, man.”

*`*`*

_In a daring 11th-hour rescue, Detective Ellison saved the life of a police observer by gunning the killer down moments before he would have struck again. And so, Cascade will sleep easy tonight because of you, Detective._

The bullpen erupted, people gathered around to talk and joke with Jim. 

Blair waited until the crowd parted, glad that they didn’t ask him any questions. “Hey, Jim, last night when you said I did everything right…did you mean that?”

His partner seemed a little surprised, "yes, Blair...you did what you needed to do to survive and...I want you to remember that, always remember that you survived and if you...if you ever want to talk, I'm here." 

Blair nodded his head, unsure if he would ever be ready to talk about what had happened to him, but knowing that Jim would listen, really listen to him if he ever were was enough, “you know," he said, "the Chinese believe when you save a man's life you become his blessed protector and it's your duty to do that for the rest of your life.”

They grabbed there coats and headed to the elevator and home. The apartment was back in order after a hard day of work and Jim even managed to get a new door installed and ordered a security system.

“Really? Well, here's today's rescue…call Christine. Beg, crawl, whatever you got to do.” 

“I'm pretty good at that, huh?” He wished he could pull the words back as soon as they passed his lips, knowing that he just needed some time. Jim's face fell, but since they were out, he changed the subject, joking about getting a tattoo. 

They stepped into the car, both reaching for the button. “Let me tell you something. You get a tattoo and your blessed protector's going to kick your ass down seven flights to the lobby.”

And that’s when he knew.

It was going to all be okay...maybe not today or even anytime soon, but eventually he was going to be okay.

*`*`*

The End


End file.
